HeScLAiReCaL

My journey to greatness

cherie:unborn

i have worked out your name finally after endless years, months ,weeks , days ,minutes , seconds of convincing my self that yes i could do it ….
i could let you grow in me for 9 months and not opt for a cee section in other to avoid the pain and the trauma of you coming out …… the birthing process i hear and have experienced not as in childbirth .. but my dreams ..my dreams have been as such and i have felt the pain ….

…. but the name i thought about Daniel , his purpose , his trust , his unshakable belief and his hope that God even when he was in the lions den could save him…
then i decided to call you that …

looking at the life of David i couldn’t help but wonder …
i have fallen in love with the lyrics that were inspired by our creator whom he loved though critics saw his faults yet our God saw him and called him a man after his own heart
and i thought wow i name you David…

looking at genealogies characters attitudes and the beginning of evil …a man was said to have walked with God …his name Enoch which i have also named you…..

i have also thought about praise, how Jehovah dwells in the praise that those who are called by his name offer …i though about the Name Enosh as it is recorded : and men began to praise God …

Daniel ,David,Enoch, Enosh , all your name ..
i wonder how you will cope but i have hope that there is grace….. when your dad’s  aunts and uncles call you with any of these names ..hope you don’t get confused …..

mon cherie its not in the name, i demand that you have these qualities i have seen in these men son …
i demand that you be filled with the spirit of your creator as you will be produced in the image and likeness of your creator alone..

and then i had a swell time with my Goose a night before …God has been gracious to us Goose ..he has made us for such a time as this ..i bless God for your life ….

But can i say you startled me …..

when you asked your self aloud that Question ” i wonder what kind of mum will i be ‘
cos i could see you have the courage to face your fears and conquer them Goose ….
but in this department im scared ….

…indeed he has given me the spirit of love, power, and of a sound mind and none of fear ….

but i tell you i keep asking my self am i worthy …
all day as i hit hardly on the computer key boards with so much strenghth with loads on my mind

that Breakfast question ……just keeps ringing in my head ….
what kind of mum will i be ?

will i be able to let go of tendencies to listen to my inner noise and not be sensitive to his tiny voice when he cries for attention ,
will i have the strength to hold him when his cold and let him feel my warmth ….

will i for once not think of my body aesthetics to let him have his six month exclusive…

i hope i wont see diaper change as extremely grouse and please don’t make me scream too hard …

i will want to nurture you and watch you grow …but i wish some times when i watch some mums already in the business…

i wish i could just buy you when you are grown maybe about 8 years ….

dear son .. im scared i love you and im glad you are almost here but

Goose ..you have the answer but i dont

???? what kind of mum will i be

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